This is me speaking from the heart- I have been struggling with my kids lately. I think I have been so worn down by all the energy and emotion that it takes to be a mom that I have been failing them (and me). Although I pray daily for God to give me the strength to be the kind of mom I want to be- I still fall very short.
Now, those of you who have known me for a long time know that being a mom is what I have wanted to be since I was old enough to talk- I wouldn't trade this life for anything, but it doesn't mean it isn't the hardest job ever either.
Before I share my struggles with them, let me say that I love my children with my whole being and that they each have so many wonderful, endearing qualities about them. I could go on and on about all the things I love about them and wouldn't want to change about them, but it just seems that the bad are outweighing me enjoying the good in them.
My struggles with Nathan stem from his ADHD and all that that entails. We were having success with the meds, but lately they don't seem to be working. We have stopped and will be seeing the doctor tomorrow to see where we go from here. Dan and I feel like he shouldn't take it this summer (gain some needed weight) and have him begin again in August- but we will see what the doctor thinks. Nathan complains about having to do anything related to school (spring fever or ADHD?) and often doesn't like the food you put in front of him (picky, picky). Nathan also seems to have reverted to a lot of his toddler behavior (simple minded and destructive) . I take partial responsibility for this since I haven't been on top of it and now it seems to be out of control. I don't know if this is ADHD related or him just regressing.
My struggles with Jason are with his strong will. He doesn't like to be told what to do, he wants to do things his way and he hates losing. Not good behavior for going into Kindergarten. His emotions are also hot and cold. One minute I hear, "you are the best mom I ever had" and then I get, "I am so mad at you, I don't like you". Honestly, I have let the good and the bad just go in what ear and out the other so that I am not effected by either (not good and totally avoiding the problem).
So, after praying and talking to some good friends, Dan and I sat down with the kids today and talked about how things have been and where they are going from today forward. For each behavior(s) that they struggle with we are starting new behaviors. We have told them what is and isn't acceptable and what the consequences (or rewards) are for their actions. The one thing that seems to work for them as far as consequences are is "screen time". They love watching movies and playing on the computer (or the DS for Nathan). Time will be taken from them when they don't do the things we agreed on. I am prayerful that this will work and that we build some better habits and behaviors for now and for life!!
No comments:
Post a Comment